Thursday, July 3, 2008

Run

"Turn, look, look out and see
Do you see me?
Cause I think I see You
I've been some other place
The wind that I chase
It all just leads back to You

Oh, how I'm still so still
It's sobering, but still I ran
I knew You when I was young
But where am I now, that I'm a man?

Run to You
I will run, I will run
I will move right on through
All these things that I have done
And You'll take me back
I don't know why
I want to say I'll never do it again
But I can't, but I will try

Turn, look, look out and see
Do You see me?
Cause I think I see you
I've been some other place
The wind that I chase
It all just leads back to You

Oh, how I miss what You miss
But I will fall time and again
I will say that I'm true to You
But I'm a cheat, I don't understand

So I'll run to You
I will run, I will run
I will move right on through
All these things that I've done
And You'll take me back
I don't know why
I want to say I'll never do it again
But I can't
I want to say I'll never do it again
But I can't
I want to say I'll never do it again
But I can't
But I will try . . . "

-Run to You, The Rocket Summer

I rediscovered this song yesterday, and was surprised at how well it described how I felt last weekend. The thoughts and emotions behind it are exactly what I experience when I talked with God. That afternoon in the minivan on I-10, I made Him my priority . . . again. I had been chasing other things: satisfaction, success, approval, happiness. But my pursuit of those meaningless things just reminded me that I should be pursuing God. I realized that my childhood faith was gone. My heart has been corrupted by this world, and I can no longer automatically see God in everyday things, or trust Him no matter the circumstances. I have to make a conscious decision, regularly, to seek God. And even then, I will fail time after time after time. But that's fine, because He is a God of grace, and He will pick me up. It's one of my favorite passages, and I had the chance to read it again today, when Paul is talking about his thorn:
"He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (II Corinthians 12:9-10).
Where I am weak, He is strong. Where I am humbled, He is exalted. Where I fail, He succeeds. Our shortcomings are reasons to celebrate, for God fills in the gap with His power. This is how Moses, the man with a speech impediment, became the greatest prophet ever known. It is how Gideon, the coward hiding from his oppressors, became the great military leader. Peter, the impulsive fisherman, became the rock upon which Christ built His church. The stories go on and on - stories of how God took someone's weakness and displayed His own power through it. Even though my heart has been tainted by this world, even though my soul has been weakened by despair, even though I am physically drained, even though I know I will fail Him again, God can and will still work through me, if only I choose to run to Him. To pursue Him constantly. What a beautiful thought. What a beautiful promise.

3 comments:

Bonzo said...

You are so deep! Again, it's exciting to see you confronting things that all Christians confront at various times in their lives. Unfortunately, even though saved, we are all still fallen and frail. Isn't it glorious to know that God still loves us, no matter how frail and broken we are? You are amazingly loved and God will use you amazingly because that is His way. Too, too, too. Mom

bball2j said...

Matt that was awesome to read! love you bro

Jonathan said...

No i didn't pay for my layout! It is one of the ones you can choose when you set it up.. so yea. I look forward to your next post.